Теория обмана: Москву заполонили осетинские пироги нетрадиционной ориентации

25 Мая 2017 14:18
Теория обмана: Москву заполонили осетинские пироги нетрадиционной ориентации

В Москве и других крупных российских городах в последние годы открылась масса фирм, предлагающих отведать вкус осетинских пирогов. У метро и просто на улицах зазывалы раздают флаеры, в которых чудо кулинарии представлено в таком широком ассортименте, что глаза разбегаются. Если заинтересовались, вам могут и домой выпечку доставить, как итальянскую пиццу или китайскую подделку из интернет-магазина. Вот только с оригиналом полюбившиеся москвичам пироги имеют мало общего.

Цена

Начнем с цены, которую смело можно назвать заоблачной. Самый экономичный вариант – от 500 до 700 рублей в зависимости от веса. Как-то поинтересовался в одной такой «пекарне», почему так дорого? Девушка-узбечка что-то спросила у начальника-кумыка и ответила: «Ну как почему? Мы же все оттуда возим!»

Что именно ребята возят, я уточнять не стал, только посмеялся. Потому что муку, дрожжи, воду, картошку, мясо, сливочное масло и так далее можно приобрести в любом месте. Главный ингредиент осетинских пирогов – сыр. Такого нет в Москве, он готовится по особым рецептам и тоже бывает разных сортов. Точнее, видов. Те, что подходят для еды на завтрак, никак нельзя употреблять в качестве начинки для пирогов.

Сыр в Осетии подорожал – факт, килограмм сейчас продается по цене от 250 до 350 рублей. Но килограмма сыра должно хватать минимум на три, а то и на пять-семь пирогов. Вот и считайте, какая идет накрутка, даже если предположить, что держатели заведений действительно мотаются по 1800 километров в каждую сторону, чтобы добыть нужный компонент и ублажить клиентов.


Качество

Но ведь не делают они этого! Используют тот сыр, что под рукой! Например, адыгейский, который в Москве продается на каждом рынке или в продуктовом магазине. Помните, о чем мы говорили в начале? О том, что осетинский сыр – главный ингредиент осетинских пирогов. Без первого нет второго. Расчет предприимчивых дельцов прост: кто там из москвичей различит, того вкуса пироги или нет, адыгейский там внутри сыр или голландский. Без разницы, лишь бы не отравились.

В Осетии считается, что чем тоньше тесто и больше в нем начинки, тем искуснее хозяйка, готовившая пироги. Это не так просто, поверьте. К мастерицам, которые познали эту науку в совершенстве, обращаются в случае чего соседи и знакомые. Обратите внимание на то, что предлагают вам в столице, и почувствуйте разницу. Тесто в палец толщиной, а дальше как в лотерейном билете – с выигрышем (читай с начинкой) или без.

Ну а взвешивать пироги – это уже чисто московское ноу-хау. В Осетии используют одинаковые формы, которые помещаются в духовку (если, конечно, речь не о треугольных пирогах «æртæдзыхон»), никому и в голову не приходит проверять, 800 граммов весит пирог или килограмм с лишним.


Ассортимент

Получая на руки флаер с описанием ассортимента любой московской пекарни под громкой вывеской «Осетинские пироги», я лично начинаю хохотать. Чего только ни готовят столичные умельцы! Здесь вам и «Кардагджин», то бишь пирог с сыром, шпинатом и зеленью, и «Гагаджин» - с ягодами, и, надо полагать, исконно осетинские творения кулинарного искусства «Княжеский», «Царский», «Славянский».

Особенно веселит, конечно, «Сырх касаджин» - то есть с красной рыбой, а если еще точнее – с семгой. Оставим за скобками вопрос о том, где потомки алан вылавливали эту самую семгу. Дело в другом. В том, что в осетинском языке выражение «красная рыба» не имеет такого значения, как в русском. Поэтому «Сырх касаджин» можно перевести как «пирог с рыбой красного цвета».

В действительности традиционных осетинских пирогов не так много. Это «уалибах» (уæлибæх) – с сыром, «картофджин» (картофджын) – с картошкой, «сахараджин» (цæхæраджын) – с бурачными листьями и «фыдджин» (фыдджын) – с рубленым мясом. Есть, конечно, и другие виды (с черемшой, тыквой, капустой), но эти – основополагающие.

Ритуал

Нужно еще понимать, что осетинские пироги – это не только и не столько еда, сколько часть ритуала. В Осетии на любом застолье по хорошему поводу должны присутствовать три пирога. Причем они кладутся один на другой, но с небольшим смещением, чтобы «с небес» было видно, что пирогов именно три. Они символизируют землю, воду и солнце. Если стол поминальный, на нем бывает два пирога, поскольку для усопшего солнце перестало существовать.

Даже разрезаются пироги строго по обряду – крест накрест, на восемь частей. Но только не «фыдджин». Он всегда подается отдельно и не делится на части. Его едят, отрывая верхний слой теста и заворачивая в него мясо.


Вот такие пироги! Хотя чему, собственно, удивляться: все делается по простейшим законам бизнеса. Если есть раскрученный бренд, нужно на нем наживаться. По тому же принципу нам и роллы продают, кстати. В самой Японии о существовании таких и не слышали. Да если б только роллы… 

Алан Туаев


1002


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